"If God doesn't want me to be married, then why has He given me the desire to be married?"

I've thought this myself. Once, years ago, I heard a Pastor make the argument that God will surely give you a spouse if you desire one. I took comfort in that word at the time, but it hasn't been until the past few years that I've begun to consider that marriage is not a certainty. It is assumed upon and by many of us--but it is not a promise. Marriage may happen to many, but it does not come to all. I don't make that statement to throw a pity party--it is, objectively, true. 

What do we do in these cases? What do we do with the longing? 

Do we curse it, deny it, suppress it? Do we become bitter? Do we harden our hearts? Do we just find a way to ignore it? 

I have been there, reader. I have committed all of these at one time or another. 

Recently, while on one of my walks interwoven with prayer, I felt the frustration of the longing. There are times when loneliness feels pointless. It feels like a waste. 

There have been times, in all of their well-meaning ways, that "Women's Ministry" events have left me feeling less-than-womanly. In all of their lovely descriptions of the very "fit-ness" of women for the role of a wife and a mother, of the detailed made-for-eachother-ness of a man and woman together, I have been left feeling lacking. If I have been created for a man, what am I to do without one? If marriage is a good thing, then why has God withheld it from me? Why the wasted blood every month? Why the wider-than-masculine hips? Why the empty, aching place for a life-long friend moving in the same direction? 

After my mind had wandered on that walk, the Lord placed a thought in my mind:

Maybe God's given you that desire for another purpose.

Maybe God's given you that longing for a purpose that does not climax in an earthly covenant.

Maybe God hasn't given you that yearning to bring you into relationship with a man, but seeking to accomplish something even more significant through it. 

Every marriage here is momentary. That is not to take away from its beauty or its gospel-picturing glory by any means. We must yearn for Someone greater. We must thirst for a better wedding toast. We must hunger for a richer wedding feast.

Some on this earth will partake of the gift of husband-and-wife. And it is good. 

All who are in Christ will partake of the gift of being the bride of Christ. And that is the far better thing.