Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.-1 Cor. 15:58
Walking out Jesus' call of discipleship and evangelism does not always look graceful, but it is entirely grace-filled. Last year I prodded along, trying to bridge the gap between 18 and 23, between Kanye West and Andrew Bird, Marilynne Robinson and Stephenie Meyer. I spent time learning not only to be a listener but also to try to direct the conversation towards exposing their need for Jesus. The Holy Spirit was at work, but there was still a lot of that struggle against timidity in my heart. By God's grace I made progress in coming out from behind the curtain, but I still found myself feeling stifled by my own fear or lack of awareness of the situation.
This year, the Lord has been giving me more of a sense of exhilaration. The desire burning within me to love well and for my lips to be filled with the life-giving words of the gospel are beginning to surface and find more expression, and I am giddy with joy. I think that beauty is the transforming work of the Spirit to make us look like Jesus, and it is so exciting to see His fingerprints over our lives doing this as He remakes us.
At one point during my first week on campus, the enemy filled my mind with the question--"Who do you think you are, approaching girls who have probably been approached with the gospel before? Who do you think you are, believing you can actually have an impact upon the salvation of these souls?"
My response is that I don't think anything great of myself. I think great things of Jesus. It is accordance with HIS power to save and transform that I can be bold and hopeful, regardless of how awkward I am and whether or not I see any immediate fruit. I am free to obey imperfectly. When I begin to grow cross-eyed and turn my eyes inward till all you can see are the whites of my eyes, my vision becomes skewed and I cannot walk out His calling upon my life with the growing fullness He desires for me.
But when I turn my gaze upon Jesus, I can keep running. And when I say "Jesus", I don't mean Jesus in the abstract. I mean Jesus as He shows Himself in His word. How can we see Him if we aren't continually coming to the place where He shows us what He is like? How can we know Him if we aren't sitting at His feet and listening to His words? How can our hearts love One our minds don't know? How can we know what a Person is like unless we close our mouths, open our minds and listen?
May we run, freed by His grace, knowing that He will use our small and temporary works for something Eternal.
