I am a dreamer. I am a romantic. I am an idealist. I don't believe that "reality" should necessarily be viewed as a "threat" to the dreamer's heart. I believe our heart's deepest longing is ultimately met in Jesus. But there are some things I desire..That I yearn for earnestly. And through a painful and sometime confusing process, the Lord has taught me a thousand lessons that are more precious than my immediate relief. I have found a much sweeter love.
One of my favorite verses that I have been musing over has been from Psalm 83:11 "For the LORD God is a sun and a shield; the LORD gives grace and glory; no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.". In the outset, I read the last half of that verse, holding onto the promise as "God is going to give me good things" in expectant hope. Over time, however, I've begun to have another understanding of this verse, which brings me greater joy. I know that He does provide hope for the future, but He also is not withholding any good from me now. Isn't that like the devil, to make us think that God is holding something back from you, that you could be happier, but He's keeping it out of your reach--instead of realizing that He is my good, satisfying reward and portion for right now, and He will supply every need when I need it. But what I am right now, what I have right now, is enough. There is nothing lacking in the sense that God is withholding something from me that would be for my joy and His glory at this moment in time.
I had a talk with a friend recently about her relationship with her boyfriend, and she lamented that when they first started dating, she found her drive for God was gone. She had so much centered her prayers, her longings, her heart, and her faith on this blessing that she sought that once she had it she realized that she had made the blessing the ultimate thing. I pray that I never seek the blessing for the blessing's sake, instead of only desiring that I might know Jesus more through it. I don't want it to become a snare to turn away from Him, but to become another means to know His love, grace, goodness and to worship Him through it. Seeking a blessing itself will only lead to what Ecclesiastes calls "vanity". As the Medieval theologian Augustine put it in his book Confessions,
"The good which you love is from Him. But it is only as it is related to Him that it is good and sweet. Otherwise it will justly become bitter; for all that comes from Him is unjustly loved if He has been abandoned."
May we find our greatest source of joy in Jesus, for He is our good, and the only way to realizing the good within all the good things He gives us.
