For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.-Romans 11:36

I'm setting out on a conceptual journey of sorts. It isn't really anything new--my mind is constantly a rabbit-trail traveler from the task at hand. I have a large bag full of ideas and truths and observations that  I consistently pull out of my bag, probing deeper and testing to see if new objects will fit alongside of them.  I always ask more questions than I can answer. I always examine a thing to death.

Making discoveries during this process, however, is exhilarating. Finding wisdom and insight is better than striking gold. I'm more curious than a kitten. There are things I know are true, so I set out. There are things I sense are true, so I probe and test and cut into the flesh of the thing. I will never know anything completely, but to gain a new insight is a delight. In my limited wisdom, I lean upon the One who knows all, understands all, created all. From His mouth come wisdom and understanding, and nothing is hidden from His sight. 

In the beginning, God made all things. Man was His last creation, created in His image--both male and female. He brought the woman to the man, and God created the first marriage between them, and told them to "be fruitful" and "multiply". It's the love story most of us know, the details by which we often study to seek to understand what it means to be "male", "female", "married" and "human". But for all that we can learn in the grand entrance, I find myself asking questions about previous teaching on these topics:

 When God said it wasn't "good for Adam to be alone", was He referring exclusively to the necessity of marriage for all men? 

What does it mean to be a woman? What distinguishes her from men, all biological differences aside? 

Can I only express my "femininity" if I am married? 

Is femininity irrelevant if I never do get married?

These questions--among others--have moved me to search deeper to find truth that could change the way I live and the way I relate to others. I have been moved to ask friends questions, to search out the pages of scripture and other books, to pray and journal. This is one of my journeys I am setting out upon right now. I would love to invite you alongside me.

I face the temptation to demonize and/or reject something that's good simply because it has been misused and idolized. I can grow frustrated, banning all cuttery because they have been used as weapons in the past. Yes, expose and reject the long sad history of fork-induced casualties, but do not padlock the utensil drawer. There's no need to switch over to chopsticks.

Basic Principles of Counseling

--"How can  even this situation prove redemptive?"
If I never lose hope in Christ's gracious control and redemptive agenda, I will be able to communicate the same to those I counsel.

--"Most people don't know that their biggest problem is not 'out there' in the world; it's 'in here' in their own heart."
Always move the agenda toward the person sitting in front of me.

--"Love. Know. Speak. Do."
 Counselors care, probe, speak Ephesians 4:15 and 4:29 truth, and help people make concrete changes. Am I covering all the bases? Am I on the right base now?

--"Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father" (Col. 3:17).
 I am a servant called to be a  faithful and full of faith, not a technician called to fix things.

--"Get to specifics. After all the talking is done, what are you going to do about your watershed issue this week?" 
Change happens in the details, in the step-step-step of your walk. Effective counseling moves towards substantive change.

--"This life, therefore, is not righteousness but growth in righteousness... We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it."
As this quote from Luther attests, small changes accumulate; a glimpse of final glory.

--"Counseling--no magic, no technique, no sure cure."
Biblical counseling is simply the way of speaking wisely with moral decision-makers who will trust and obey either lies or truth.

---David Powilson, from his book "Speaking Truth in Love"